"Now that my dad, mum and even my teacher have neglected me, they don't have time with me, I am ruined. My life has become miserable......this is how I am going to do it."

Hello my readers,

I believe that this letter finds you in good health. We are in tough times and we have to learn to adapt to the changes that have come. For those that are still yet to embrace the new realities, this is how I would do it. I would listen to the experts and do more research. However, for our parents, teachers, and others reading this letter, do not worry, I have a few important anecdotes to share today. So, today, I want to approach this issue in a different way. First or all glory be to God for His love and care. Today I want to address each and every individual directly. Without much ado, let me start with my lovely father.

Hello dad, I hope you are doing well wherever you are. From my observations, I see that you are the one leading me to the ruin. Dad, why do I say so? Do you remember when I was young, you used to encourage me and lead me in the right direction. Now the time has come you are too busy with your stuff that even you don’t have time with me. You saw me walking with bad boys but you kept quiet and said, “He is young, he will have enough time to change.” Surely dad, why? You usually see me walking around from place to place but you don’t caution me on any dangers of loitering aimlessly. You see me walking around with very tight long and rugged trousers but seem to be okay with it, yet some concerned parents nod whenever I pass them. It leaves me wondering. Dady, why did you not warn me when you saw me with Angellah, our neighbor’s daughter. I learned that you were told, Vallery called me to their home, yes we did it Dad. Did you tell me anything? Why do you keep on assuming, hoping, and thinking that all is well? Now, see the doctor’s report shows I have Gonorrhea. Dad, it’s painful. Dad, you are being called a grandfather at this early age, just because my younger brother did it with Gloria, that class seven girl that is the talk of the village. I am fighting a case of theft with the police in front of your eyes dad. why wouldn’t you have been responsible enough?

Now dad, despite the pain, if I were you, this is how I would do it. I would have been a responsible dad. I would have learned the art of responsible fatherhood from responsible fathers out there. I would seek the counsel of church elders. I would talk to my son more often. I would tell my son about the breaking voice, the growing ego and esteem. I would talk to my son about the young girls whose breasts are still shy. I would tell my son about HIV/AIDS, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis B among others. I would even explain about COVID-19 and the challenges underlying. I would talk about bad boys and good boys, about the good company and the bad company, About football, athletics, and talents in general. I would advise my son on clothing, jewelry, music, and good mannerism. I would talk about hard work; hard work in school, at home, and in the neighborhood. I would talk in length about matters of friendship, relationship, sex, and all that relates to this concept. I would refer my son to advisers, mentors, and counselors.  As a father, I would pray for my son, I would tell him about God, about faith, and about love. If I were you, dad, I would have done more.

Mum,, first and foremost, I thank you for the care and love that you show me. But, mum, here is the problem. My sister has developed bad morals and characters just because of you. This is because you just take everything lightly and normal. Mum, just a week after the pandemic you started noticing different and weird actions in my sister. When our neighbor, you were her advocate. You see her going in skimpy dresses and tops and never utter a word.  Mum, when it was reported that she spent the entire afternoon recently at Jack’s house, you said it was about studies and that your daughter is super-responsible. Mum, you call her mummy. You try all ways possible not to see her sad, you never question the amount of money she has. See what all this has brought to us, now you see she is pregnant, soon you will be a grandmother at this age. Your child is soon going yo have a child and the child will need support from the child, who still needs it from her mother. Mum, are you aware that she also has Gonrrhoea the same as me?. Right now, she is hospital and this is the fifth day, all because she almost lost her life attempting an abortion.  Why mum? Why did you not advise my sister to stay with you at home and teach her some house chores. Why did you not take the time to tell her about body changes? Mum, now you are blaming yourself when it’s late. every time, I see the situation in our home, I ask myself this hard question, If I were you, what would I have done?

Well, if I were you, this is how I would do it. I could have kept a routine to always have a pep-talk with my daughter, I would do it from the park where no one is listening. I would call her with her real name and not the childhood name mummy. I would appreciate her nice plump body, I would tell her that this is a stage of life and that it would soon fade with time; however, I would encourage her to be very careful. I would ask her about any “abnormal” changes she could have seen after turning a teenager. I would talk about the beauty of monthly periods, which shows that she is now a grown-up. I would talk to her about advances from young men, I would talk about HIV/AIDS, Syphilis and other STIs. I would talk about abortion. I would also talk about dressing and good mannerisms. I would talk to her about the lasting values to embrace, such as honesty, integrity, love, and gratitude. I would have told her about the dangers of pre-marital sex. I would have discussed about the company to keep and to love studies and talent.  I would not hesitate to raise my voice to prove a point and give a warning. above all, I would pray together with the rest of the family. Poor me!

And not to my teachers, how are you? hope Corina has not battered you much. It’s long since we last saw each other. Hope you are keeping distance and sanitising. weell, my teacher, I have a problem here at home. This is due to the fact that you are relaxed at home waiting for January. Why just sit at home and wait for something that may again be postponed? Why just waste your time doing nothing or chatting with friends online instead of using this opportunity to make me understand some concepts in chemistry, biology, or even mathematics. Why can’t you create time and have a lesson with me as your student on any online platform? Why can’t you even use your bundles to make me revise at home? Now see I have forgotten everything. Where did we stop at in English? had we finished on verbs and tenses? Look, it’s because you don’t encourage me to work. While I’m on any online platforms, you just see me and can’t even ask me where we left before the pandemic. Please use this opportunity that you are online to help a student somewhere.

Now if I were you, this is how I would do it. I could create the time, for even just an hour so that I help my students to grasp some concepts in a subject. I could send my students notes or some questions through any online platform so as to make them not to forget anything that we learnt at school. If I were you, I would find out about the welfare of my students. I would talk to the government about those who don’t have food, phones, and power. I would tell the government to do more. well, I know it’s not easy but what if the first person to hear this was the president? would we nee the entire country to hear before an action is taken? Just asking politely.

Now that my dad, mum and even my teacher have neglected me, they don’t have time with me, I am ruined. My life has become miserable. Even though, I also need to change my behavior. I can’t wait for my dad or mum to change me. I need to sit down and do the necessary. There is no need for me to loiter around. Let me now settle down and change my tomorrow. My tomorrow will never be the same. Inasmuch as things are not looking nice, this is how I am going to do it.

Thanks for listening, wipe your tears if you are crying and take your position to do the right thing.

Yours Faithfully

Amos Aboki


  1. Jose 6 August, 2020 at 00:10 Reply

    This is a good research Amos we must take a response a a recall earlier as possible we are under the care of my older, let’s be careful for words coming out of our mouths and as a child we are supposed to take instructions Kama wasemavyo samaki mkunje angali mbichi

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